November 2008
42 posts
UPDATE
Herbie Hancock’s “Rock It” drowns out soon-to-be-dead dogs.
Geese can argue about anything. Even at 1:06 in the morning. This time, from what I can translate of Geesese, it was a crack deal gone bad. Even in Naperville. What’s the world coming to?
Pajama pants only keep you warm for so long, as evidenced by my minuscule penis.
In Florida, you think the refrigerator is...
there will be fucken murders
12:40.
Chicago.
Uncle Tom’s (really).
Black Russian….at 10%.
French Kicks. Track 12 of 12.
Listening through niece’s headphones; they only work if you cock your head just so. Old.
The fucking dog is about to die. The little mutt-shit has not stopped scratching at her door for at LEAST 2 hours.
I’m awake because I’m not 70+ like most of my family. Instead...
observations on social networking
Brian: (scanning through photos on Facebook)
Frank: Brian, what did you DO before Facebook? Really?
Me: Brian didn't exist before Facebook.
(laughs)
Me: He's one of the applications you can install.
“Words express you. Numbers define you.”
– Salmon Bitch
Let me explain something.
taramichelle:
I don’t give a fuck.
I don’t give a fuck.
I don’t give a fuck.
I don’t give a fuck.
I don’t give a fuck.
I don’t give a fuck.
I don’t five a guck.
I don’t give a fuck.
Give me your face, I want to stab it.
luv2luv J.C. VAN DAMN
Gagne (to Brian): What's that movie Jean-Claude Van Damme is making about the story of his life?
Me: Timecop?
my logic is undeniable
Steve (to Gagne): Can I have a dollar? I'm going upstairs to get some chocolate.
Me: Here. (hands change) Can you grab me a Dr. Pepper while you're up there?
Steve: Let's flip to see who goes up.
Me: What? Why? You're going up anyway.
Gagne: But he's got a point. Are you that lazy? You're making him go up there.
Me: No, I'm not. He's going up anyway, I'm asking if he can grab a soda while he's up there.
Steve: Then we should flip for it.
Me: I don't want a soda badly enough that I would go up there.
Gagne: Oh my god! You're lazy.
Me: No, I'm not. But if he's going up I'll take a soda.
Steve: Let's flip for it.
Me: I don't want to go up there.
Steve: Me neither.
Me: But you were going to go a minute ago.
Steve: But now you want something.
Me: Because you'll be up there anyway.
Gagne: Wow. You're lazy.
Me: How am I lazy?
Gagne: It's only fair that you should flip to go up there.
(Steve sits down)
Me: I think it's funny Steve has your dollar to go get candy and now he's not going up. You lost in all this.
Tom Tom Club - Genius of Love (Long Version)
This Chick That I Know From College Is Getting...
somethingtodoaftertheporn:
From her announcement (via Facebook note!):
“And quite frankly, the clock is ticking. Ticky tock! I might as well marry someone I have loved continuously for an agonizingly long time and who also loves me in return.”
That has got to be the most depressing thing that I’ve read all week. I can’t believe that our generation is already on “the clock is ticking” and “I...
A and B conversation, Cory enters...
Cory: Should I leave?
Me: I was telling him how you and I hooked up.
Jose: He said you need to shave.
Cory: You told me you liked it long!
Me: I did, it was the braids that freaked me out.
Cory: Well, you did it.
Me: What can I say? My dick is talented...
jews/jesus/jokes
#1: Come in here. Trust me.
#2: That's what the Nazis told us...
Gagne: What?! How come they can make those jokes?
Me: They're Jewish, they can say that.
Brian: Fway! (shows me a bottle of Cholula)
Me: That's like Jesus' own hot sauce.
Jose: Heeeeeey!
Me: What? I can say it. I'm wearing a cross.
lunches
steve: I went to that place La Granja.....wasn't that great.
Gagne: Steve, how about that Indian place you took us where fway threw up?
Me: Yeah! Cuz there was a cockroach in my throat.
Steve: On your fourth? Third plate of food?
Me: Steve there should be an exact 0:1 cockroach to plate ratio.
“God made mud,
God got lonesome,
So God said to some of the mud, “Sit...”
– Kurt Vonnegut
“CLICK ON IMAGES TO ENBIGGEN”
– Filboid Studge
