My company, that is, the company I work for, had a barbecue today. I went downstairs to get some food.
I saw plenty of good things to eat and wanted to indulge myself. They had sausages, burgers, hot dogs, and meatballs. They had arrays of condiments but sadly very few side dish options. The choices were indeed healthy: pasta salad, salad, etc. But none altogether tempting.
I ended up with a single hamburger and a Mountain Dew™.
I put mustard, ketchup and minced onions (nice touch, much easier than finding a perfect slice) on my hamburger. The cheese was unmelted and simply “placed” over the lettuce. Kinda gross. American cheese should always be melted. It hasn’t reached its Aristotelian form otherwise.
I brought it upstairs to my desk. Along the way, my friend -who if I had to guess checks in at a buck, if that, maybe 105, and is also a girl- made fun of me for not getting much to eat.
Another friend (ostensibly) noticed as well that I hadn’t much to eat and, as I walked by and -being a guy- said something a little more demeaning.
I didn’t catch it. I told him to shut up.
I sat down at my desk and took four bites of my burger and a drink of soda.
I am now full.
I should rent out my appetite to models.