salmon bits

Photo

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 15:23:22 -0500

Photo

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 14:43:35 -0500

Illeana Douglas is disco.

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 12:00:13 -0500

Illeana Douglas is disco.

Photo

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 10:59:42 -0500

Art Basel starts early in my ‘hood.

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 09:22:35 -0500

Art Basel starts early in my ‘hood.

Photo

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 09:01:51 -0500

My Photoshop skills can beat up your Photoshop skills.

Tue, 02 Dec 2008 15:23:38 -0500

My Photoshop skills can beat up your Photoshop skills.

Girls, you’d better dip your vaginas in bacon-flavored...

Tue, 02 Dec 2008 14:26:05 -0500

Girls, you’d better dip your vaginas in bacon-flavored chocolate, because I am in love.

This guy deserves to see your tits.

Tue, 02 Dec 2008 13:33:26 -0500

This guy deserves to see your tits.

antikris: (via eec) I’ve always loved this pic

Mon, 01 Dec 2008 21:41:17 -0500

antikris:

(via eec)

I’ve always loved this pic

Photo

Mon, 01 Dec 2008 21:40:47 -0500

Photo

Mon, 01 Dec 2008 21:09:29 -0500

more new words

Mon, 01 Dec 2008 20:26:56 -0500

freat (FRATE): fucking great; “Dude! That’s freat!”

Disco: Cool; “Totally disco.”

Newyork: Cool, in a New York/urbane kind of way; “That’s totally Newyork, man.”

Yeah sorry. That’s all I got.

frangry: Holy FUCKING shit. One man recreates Michael Jackson’s...

Mon, 01 Dec 2008 20:11:15 -0500

frangry:

Holy FUCKING shit. One man recreates Michael Jackson’s Thriller with 64 seperate tracks shown in one video. I mean, c’mon. Internet, you have outdone yourself again. (via atencio)

Photo

Mon, 01 Dec 2008 20:05:05 -0500

UPDATE

Sat, 29 Nov 2008 01:20:00 -0500

Herbie Hancock’s “Rock It” drowns out soon-to-be-dead dogs.
Geese can argue about anything. Even at 1:06 in the morning. This time, from what I can translate of Geesese, it was a crack deal gone bad. Even in Naperville. What’s the world coming to?
Pajama pants only keep you warm for so long, as evidenced by my minuscule penis.
In Florida, you think the refrigerator is loud at night. Buildings are made of concrete. Here… everything creaks. The fucking toilet paper echoes through the wood.
I have refilled, and am now at 98% Black Russian. Which leads to…
Some Irish forget who they are. Let me tell you… An Irishman can never truly have a stocked bar at this house. It’s gone too quickly. I find it fascinating when I encounter a home cabinet with a nice compliment of liquors. In my house it never lasts. This is something like Candyland™ for the boozer. Think about it: lots of booze, no cover, and free. My poor uncle… He never wronged me. But here I am sopping up his Baptist-like Bacchanal of Booze. A-fucking-men.
On another note: at Thanksgiving, we said Grace. I crossed myself after it was done. So did my Grandmother. She is of English descent. They’re Episcopalian, or so I’ve ben led to believe (I’ve never sunk so low as to try on English for a day). She’s usually the one to offer me a drink first. I think this says something about drinkers and God-fearers. We respect the what can fuck you up.
Lists are fun.
I kind of miss Florida, which is ironic, because I hate it.
Getting back to it, Black Russians are …adequate… but only if you can’t find a Caucasian.
Just about everything done in cold weather is noisome. For instance, I took a shit earlier that was mind-bogglingly complicated. For one, besides being cold from the outset, I sat down and the goddamn seat was cold. Who knew? So I did that…and then wiping was a bitch. Sandpaper. People live like this? It occurs to me that most of the U.S. of A. is under harsh conditions, but fuck…. move to Florida. It sucks, but, damn…at least our asses aren’t freezing when we do that most elemental of releases.
And finally, well, I gotta piss.

there will be fucken murders

Sat, 29 Nov 2008 00:48:50 -0500

12:40.

Chicago.

Uncle Tom’s (really).

Black Russian….at 10%.

French Kicks. Track 12 of 12.

Listening through niece’s headphones; they only work if you cock your head just so. Old.

The fucking dog is about to die. The little mutt-shit has not stopped scratching at her door for at LEAST 2 hours.

I’m awake because I’m not 70+ like most of my family. Instead I’m drinking, reading SPIN®, listening to pirated music, annoyed by reblogs, wishing I could smoke without a peacoat, lovelorn (but otherwise un-emo), thinking about downloading Berlin, and about to strangle this fucking weird-ass Beagle looking animal named -of all things- “Fancy”.

Sidenote: So far, I’ve counted no less than 8 pieces of porcelain and/or handwoven um…..accoutrements with Bible verses or imperatives to pray.

You can put a city in the Midwest, but it’s still the Midwest.

With that, I retire to the 28º weather for a cigarette.

God should put nicotine in the Bible. Put nicotine in the Bible, watch your numbers go up. For real. Jesus should’ve worked in the tobacco industry. I will cross rivers of fire for a puff of dead leaf.

Bible verses? Go fuck yourself.

i fucking knew it. see world? some of us are for REAL.

Wed, 26 Nov 2008 23:06:00 -0500

i fucking knew it. see world? some of us are for REAL.

Photo

Mon, 24 Nov 2008 17:54:16 -0500

observations on social networking

Mon, 24 Nov 2008 17:16:40 -0500

Brian: (scanning through photos on Facebook)
Frank: Brian, what did you DO before Facebook? Really?
Me: Brian didn't exist before Facebook.
(laughs)
Me: He's one of the applications you can install.